Signs Of A Bad Diver

The PADI versus BSAC versus CMAS debate will rage on for ever, with proponents of each insisting that “their” program produces far better divers.

I prefer to keep out of it, having qualified various parts of my diving with different agencies. But having dived with people from each, my observation is that they all seem to be able to create both great divers and crap divers.

And even experience isn’t always an indicator – I’ve buddied with newly qualified divers who have filled me with confidence, and with “been everywhere on the planet” divers who scared the living bejesus out of me!

I thought I’d share with you the things that annoy me underwater. Things that would make me categorise someone as a crap diver:

The Kicker

This diver has a powerful leg kick, which can take out a square meter of coral or create an aquatic sand storm in a cave.

The Yo Yo

The yo yo diver just can’t seem to get their buoyancy right, and they bounce around all over the place. You look left, then you look right, and eventually you find them, either above or below you.

The Gear Diver

Some divers are gear junkies. It’s not about the fish, the wrecks or the diving, it’s about having the latest, coolest tech. It’s good to have – enjoy it! Just don’t spend hours telling me all about it.

The Stat Monkey

The Stat monkey is obsessed with numbers. They can tell you the depth, run time, water temp and de sat from their last 23 dives, and they do. All the time.

The Sack of Spuds

Good divers, irrespective of their size or shape, look good underwater. They move with grace and precision, and can hover where they want. The sack of spud diver crashes into rocks, hits the bottom and often runs into a buddy.

What would you add to this list?